Saturday, August 23, 2008

A day in the life of a college football fan

I'm busting at the seams!! I'm so excited I can hardly keep a thought in my head before inevitably day dreaming about IT. What is IT you may ask? IT is college football kids! It's that time of year; the air smells sweeter, food tastes better, and I've got a little extra pep to my step. It's the symbolic start of Autumn and for me and my pals, it's like Christmas and our birthdays all rolled into one. The season officially kicks off in 5 days, and although I will certainly be glued to the tube, those games are just something to wet my whistle before the sensory overloading Saturday. As much as I look forward to the season, my 1st football Saturday ritual is just as important. Here's a glimpse of my day based on a few years of experience.

Saturday morning will start with a quick trip to the gym just to get the blood flowing (and realistically to offset some of the damage i'll be doing to my body later). I Tivo college gameday so I can zip past the commercials and the occasional puff piece. Herby and the crew make their picks and Corso throws on the home mascot's head to get the fans fired up (it's the sort of thing that will piss me off by week 6, but come next Saturday, that goofy bastard's schtick will be pure gold!). If I were a gambling man, now would be the time I jump online to make some last minute picks of my own (can someone loan me $100, I'll explain later For the love of God I just need $200 to get back on track. $500 should do the trick, I'm good for it I swear!).

By now it's noon and I get the Picture-In-Picture going for the 1st half of the early games. At halftime, I make my way to my favorite local watering hole to meet up with the boys and compare picks. The happiest moment of the year occurs as I walk through that door. 50 TVs line the walls of this college football mecca, and as I saunter in I'm greeted by the bar's foul-mouthed yet loveable owner, smile on his face, clipboard full of games in tow. He gives us free reign over the plasmas in our vacinity and we make good use of them. I order up a Guinness and some wings, cause I'm gonna be here for a while. For the next few hours our heads look like oscillating fans scanning from monitor to monitor as we take in 5 or more games at once while occasionally feeling around for a mug (and no the law of diminishing returns does not apply to college football. That is a defeatist attitude, and we will not have that in our bar). Lastly, any week 1 Saturday would be incomplete without the debates.

Who's the team to beat? What conference looks best top to bottom? What Heisman hopefuls do we like? Will the Irish bounce back this year? Are we gonna see the Buckeyees in national championship again? If so, will they be crushed by the SEC champs again? Is Tim Tebow the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ as Gator fans like to believe? (my buddy gazes at pictures of Tebow like Kathy Bates looked at James Caan in Misery!) Are some of these debates premature? Never. Just in case we're right, we wanna be able to say we told you so way back in week 1.

So the countdown begins. I just hope the day lives up to it's billing. It hasn't let me down yet!

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